DRIVE IN MASSACRE (1977)
YOUR NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE
The tagline says it all really, what a full blown turkey this film is.
Starring ahem...John F Goff (Ilsa, the hareem keeper of the oil shieks, the witch that came out of the sea), Douglas Gudbye (Ilsa again) & Steve Vincent (loads of 70s porn)
The poster featured the following warning: "DRIVE-IN MASSACRE has been deemed by an independent film board to be too terrifying for viewing by the average theatre patron. For this reason, it is suggested that those of you with severe emotional disorders or chronic coronary dysfunction NOT see this movie. The risk is entirely yours."
Ha Ha Ha!
Amateur hour acting, no coherent plot and a budget of nothing.
the plot, such as it is, involves two over weight cops (one in drag for part of the film) chasing a serial killer at a run down drive in movie theatre. The victims are possibly the oldest teenagers ever captured on film and the location suddenly changes to a warehouse for some, unexplained, reason.
Check out the wonderous acting - the 'teenager' has just been stabbed through the neck with a long sword - she looks as if she has swallowed a piece of toblerone.
So this leads up to a fantastic "non ending", who was the murderer?? Hmm seems like even the film-makers couldn't be bothered to come up with a villain and the film just abruptly ends!
Here is another "brillant" moment from the film - the two cops decide they should go undercover and go to the drive-in theatre pretending to be a kissing couple so they can catch the murder.. Which leads to one of the characters asking the "female" if she has a cousin.
YOUR NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE
The tagline says it all really, what a full blown turkey this film is.
Starring ahem...John F Goff (Ilsa, the hareem keeper of the oil shieks, the witch that came out of the sea), Douglas Gudbye (Ilsa again) & Steve Vincent (loads of 70s porn)
The poster featured the following warning: "DRIVE-IN MASSACRE has been deemed by an independent film board to be too terrifying for viewing by the average theatre patron. For this reason, it is suggested that those of you with severe emotional disorders or chronic coronary dysfunction NOT see this movie. The risk is entirely yours."
Ha Ha Ha!
Amateur hour acting, no coherent plot and a budget of nothing.
the plot, such as it is, involves two over weight cops (one in drag for part of the film) chasing a serial killer at a run down drive in movie theatre. The victims are possibly the oldest teenagers ever captured on film and the location suddenly changes to a warehouse for some, unexplained, reason.
Check out the wonderous acting - the 'teenager' has just been stabbed through the neck with a long sword - she looks as if she has swallowed a piece of toblerone.
So this leads up to a fantastic "non ending", who was the murderer?? Hmm seems like even the film-makers couldn't be bothered to come up with a villain and the film just abruptly ends!
Here is another "brillant" moment from the film - the two cops decide they should go undercover and go to the drive-in theatre pretending to be a kissing couple so they can catch the murder.. Which leads to one of the characters asking the "female" if she has a cousin.
Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and his date Marlon Brando
It promises a lot of gore and fails to deliver - its too anemic to be a slasher.
Rating : If watched when sober 0 out of 5
If watched when drunk 5 beers out of 5 (for the acting alone)
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